So I've debated this second post. What direction am I going to take this blog in? Am I going to follow in the old QoP flip flop steps or will it have a flavor of it's own? For those of you that used to read me, you know the primaries about me. For you new people, you'll have to feel me out for yourselves. Of course, knowing me you know that I giggled a little at "feeling me". I even giggled today at work when I said duty. What rocked even more is that when I did, the person on the other end of the phone giggled too. Some sort of secret silly-minded kinship that is underlying and goes without saying. Score!
FYI, to all you diehards, there will not be any dirty HNT's. Unless I drink a lot of wine. ;)
Today was my favorite day at work. Which is also the date I get treated the worst. Maybe I really am a sadist. I do like pain, after all. Not the emotional kind, I try to shy away from emotional crap at all costs. Anyway, today was Cut Off Day (COD). I have the reviled job of working in Utilities. I am in charge of the Utilities for EvenSmaller Town USA. And on the 26th (or 28th, as the calendar fell), today was COD. If you don't pay, you don't play. No tickie, no laundry. Also known as, PYFBD. Pay your fucking bill day. Here's the drill people, it's simple. Pay your bill and you keep your shit. If you don't, I will cut it off. My job is not worth you being able to play PS57 or whatever. Yes, I have a heart. But your sob stories do not pay my paycheck. And my paycheck pays for my pretty toes, pretty nails and wine. And I'm much more pleasant with pretties and wine.
Today was no different than any other COD. I cut off power. And I was called, in no particular order:
Cunt (my favorite, makes me laugh every time)
Bitch
Heartless Bitch
Jackass
My all-time favorite: Fat Cunty Bitch. Really, people. I can't make this shit up.
Seriously. Do people think I'm going to rush right out and turn your shit back on if you insult me? Uhhhh no. And for that matter, if you need to call your utility company remember one thing. It could be me answering the phone. And I'm super-nice. Until you get an attitude with me. And then this cunty bitch will fuck you up. BE NICE. For real.
In all reality, I don't like cutting people's power off. I know that it's tough out there. DUH, why do you think I'm doing this job? It's a J. O. B. and it pays mah bills.
Moral of the story: Pay yo bills, or this Cunty Bitch may be turning off yo shit.
Man, I could never do that job. I'm way too nice. Not that you're not nice. Please don't hurt me! hahaha
ReplyDeleteI was first this time!
ReplyDeleteHappy dance!
I could probably do that job and even look forward to PYFBD! People usually regret pissing me off.
ReplyDelete"Oops! Did we turn your lights off by mistake? Again? Oh, it was in the middle of your niece's wedding? My bad! I'll call one of the meter guys and see how long it'll be before he can get back out there. Shouldn't be more than a couple hours. 3-4 tops. Have a good day! Enjoy the lovely June weather in Texas!"
Yeah. I could look forward to it.
A long time ago I worked for a loan company that financed high risk individuals. Yup, we helped a lot of folks get back on their feet by repossessing their cars. There's nothing like the rush of getting a car back after an ongoing hassle.
ReplyDeletePeople suck. The end.
ReplyDelete