For those of you that haven't ever met me in person, lemme tell you something...
I'm fat.
Not like 10 lbs overweight, fretting over leftover baby weight. My baby is 114 months old (holy crap, that took way too long to compute in my head). And I gave up that ghost a long time ago. I'm fat. Like, FAT. Like, I wear a size... *gasp 18/20. And in t-shirts? a XXL. *faints
And guess what? I admit it. And I own it. I regularly reference the size of my ass. Which IS huge, by the way. Every time I make a reference to my monstrous posterior, someone always says, Oh baby, I like big butts. Well guess what, Sir Mix a Lot? We're not talking about 36-24-36, only if she's 5'3". We're talking about holy shit, I'm not getting out a tape measure, but trust me it's big.
My point? Lately, I've been noticing a trend on Twitter. Bash the fatty. They eat too many cookies. Cupcakes. Sushi. WINE. (wait, this sounds familiar...) They have no self-control. Well take a good look in the mirror, asshole. Because behind the fat, I'm someone's fantasy. Obviously not everyone's, but someone's. Yeah, as scary as that sounds, it's true. So when I unfollow you, don't think I'm just being sensitive. I'm not. I don't unfollow because you've hurt my feelings. You may say whatever you want on your Twitter. I unfollow because you have a lesser opinion of someone like me. If you don't like my fat ass, I won't miss ya.
It's become so easy to become an avatar. To be honest, I've thought about putting up a generic picture, to be more anonymous. But in the end, my Twitter IS about me. So, it IS me. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not about to put a picture up of myself that I don't like. Why? Because I don't want to look at it, and I'm a vain motherfucker. Because at the end of the day, I have to be happy with what I put out there. And that is ME. Take it or leave it. Because at the end of the day, this is all voluntary. We signed up for this. It is what you make of it. And my experience is mine.
And so, full circle baby, back to me. I'm a fat girl. And those that know me, well... I think they kinda dig me. And it usually doesn't have a damn thing to do with the size of my ass. And you know what? I may or may not always be a fat girl. But I'll always be me.*
*could I have said "me" one more time in this post?
In right there with ya sister! I'm a big girl & I use my big ass in derby because its my best weapon! I cant say it doesn't sting a little at bouts when the rail thin, pretty skaters get all the attention from the fans after I just hip checked a chick into tje suicide seats, but in the end I am just proud of me, big ass and all! (I'm proud of you too)
ReplyDeleteHoly hell, I want to do derby so bad! I'm so proud of you!
Delete*standing ovation* Hear fucking hear! If I didn't already have a girl-crush on you, I would now! I'mma try to be more like you and learn to love the junk in my trunk.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Don't get me wrong, I don't always love everything about my junky trunky. But, it's still me. :)
DeleteI'm a fat girl. Size 16/18. And guess what? I fed my family on the fantasies of men who think my fat ass is sexy for almost two years. So when people fat bash, I generally just laugh at their naiveté at thinking *their* idea of what is sexy is *all* there is. I don't always like my body. But I do love myself, and my body is a part of "myself". No one else has to find it a turn on but the person I am sharing it with (those web girl days are long gone). Everyone else can just practice some of that self-control they say I am lacking by looking away if they don't like the way I look.
ReplyDeleteSexy is so much more than size. Too bad not everyone sees that!
DeleteYeah, you are also the double standard chica....There are some of us (as I am looking in the mirror) that totally dig your twitter posts. I have never met you but I think you are witty, and funny and most importantly, you are a parent. I so relate to that....
ReplyDeleteYet, in regards to your posterior, all I get is a reference. Remember...Fat is relative to many. What you call fat, some of us (looking in the mirror again) may actually enjoy....
Was that crude enough? or could I have taken that to the next level?
That's my point exactly, what isn't sexy to some is to others. Dude, you just wanna see my ass! ;)
DeleteI love you with all my heart. I would love you if you had a generic avi, an avi you didn't like, or an avi that was just your ass. I can't wait to see you during spring break and give your ass a swat and get a huge hug! You're one of my greatest friends ever, and I feel so lucky to have you in my life. And I'll kick anybody in the shins who tries to fit you in their pattern. You are far too beautiful for a pattern.
ReplyDeleteYou, I love. I'm so grateful that you are in my life!!
DeleteFirst of all, you are NOT fat. Secondly, tell me who was saying those things so I can kick all their asses. And if anyone ever says anything directly to you? It. Is. On.
ReplyDeleteI love you. xoxoxoxo
You know what? I am fat. I can admit that. And it's ok.
DeleteI love YOU. Can't wait to see you!!!!
I kinda dig you :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks babe, you've always been in my corner! :)
DeleteI'm fat and I haven't ever been told on Twitter that I am. If someone said that to me I'd show up at their house and smother them with my belly.
ReplyDeletescrew cleanliness, self awareness is next to godliness....
ReplyDeleteI think you're lovely. I cant say much more because we're happily married folk.
My wife loves her curves and has more confidence than any woman I've ever met. It's sexy. You rock your confidence and don't worry about petty jerks.
I love you! Very well said. I so wish I could be comfortable in my skin. I'm fat and I hate it. But haters? No freaking way! I would drop them too. I have enough hater talk in my own head.
ReplyDelete