The last few weeks I have been extremely moody. Call it emotional, hormonal, irrational or just downright scary. I may be a chick, but I hate letting my real emotions show. I can usually fake it with the best of them. Because the realness of it all scares the absolute mess out of me. I can deal with your problems, any day of the week. I can console, advise, or just be an ear. And I'm very good at it and very sincere. Helping and/or fixing YOU is the easy part. Fixing me, well... that's better saved for another day.
But I think my emotional constipation has about reached its final breaking point. I'm not sure I can hold them back much longer. I'm not a crier. Yet, I've cried more times in the last month than I've cried in 5 years. Every time, save one, has been in private. Away from eyes and ears of those that have instigated them. Because that means you win, even if wasn’t your intention. Making me cry is a battle royale. And I am the Queen, after all. I am competitive to a fault. I hate to lose. And when your actions spur a tear from me? Then you win, and I certainly can't have that.
So, what's a girl to do? Super glue my tear ducts shut? Lock myself in a padded room with no one around? The answer is usually found in a box of wine...
